If yes, then you probably love the agility of being able to make your own decisions without having to get approval from investors or a co-founder.

After so many trials and errors and having some bitter experiences, for more than a year I’m trying not to have any cofounders until I validate product-market-fit, product-channel-fit, and most importantly product-founder-fit.

If you’re like me, you are NOT a fan of the physical sensation of exhaustion after a day of having to make dozens of important decisions by yourself.

If you’re the only one calling the shots, it’s really common to second guess yourself. The splinters start with small questions that spark an internal critical dialogue with yourself.

• Am I tracking the right KPIs?
• Have I overestimated the market size?
• Should I even bother with that channel?
• Did I make a feasible financial model?

These little questions snowball into bigger questions, more doubt, and more anxiety. This increases the risk that you’ll do something stupid and rash.

I know because it’s happened to me (many times!)…

Nonetheless, I still end up making 99% of the strategic decisions myself (with less than 99% confidence).

Back in November 2021, I posted a photo on Harvard campus with this caption, “I was probably the dumbest one walking around Harvard that day. Who cares though, got to see such a beautiful campus!”

One of my mentors commented on that photo “Hey, I know some people from Harvard & I know you… and I don’t agree with your statement. Future student standing right there!”

It was humorous but significant enough to make me wonder what would happen if I applied to Ivy League schools. Maybe I wouldn’t get into Harvard but I’d definitely land in the silver league. What stopped me from pursuing that? I realized I lacked a person of perfect caliber who would bring out the best in me and encourage me to go above and beyond the norm.

Following that, I spoke with a few people around me and found out they have a lot of regrets that they could do better in their life if they would get a little direction sooner. Throughout my life, I was fortunate enough to have a handful number of quality mentors who guided me through different stages of my life. The impact of their small piece of information, and small positive words helped me to come a long way. From running charities to founding startups in college life to getting my first lessons of leadership to going to the USA as an exchange student everything was possible with the support of some amazing mentors. Since I started at a very early age as a startup founder when the ecosystem was new and flourishing I could connect with a lot of quality people to get help. But that’s not the usual case for everyone. The more people I got connected with I craved to have more of them because each time I got years’ worth of their learning in a single conversation.

One of my noteworthy mentors, Luke O’Brien, with whom I did a growth internship, shaped and changed my perspective drastically on growth, global ecosystem, digital marketing, automation, tools, leadership, company culture, product, marketing, fundraising, solo entrepreneurship, and whatnot. Not only did he give me hands-on tips, but he also provided me with a multitude of exclusive learning resources and inspired me to experiment with brand-new strategies. I used to eagerly wait for our 20-mins session every day to consume new information as well as understand the reasons behind all the decisions he’s making, and all the steps he’s taking. The best part is he saw the founder’s spirit in me and shared his thought process that molded me in ways that I could never imagine. I want other people to have such mentors in their life when they need them the most.

I appreciate the following mentors who made me feel how important it is to have some great mentors in our life.

Luke O’Brien

CEO, Journey, Inc.

Muhammad Ferdaus

Program Coordinator, PPDM, Brac University

Rebecca Steelman

Program Manager, Google

Azadul Haq

CEO, Max Group

Tahnia Shahid

Former Education Manager, U.S. Embassy, Dhaka

richard-steelman.png

Former Director, USAID

Shah Mahi

Former EIR, Seedstars

Anurag Maloo

Community Leader, Techstars

On the flipside of the coin, when I started out it was not as easy as it sounds to get access to the people I wanted to talk to. I can recall following up with a person for months, rescheduling a meeting thrice only to get this reply at the end, “Going through a tight schedule, can’t make it”. I understand he was super busy, but that disheartened me and made me doubt my worth. Surely, a lot of my ideas didn’t see the light only for not getting the access needed at the right time. I can’t explain how hard it is to get pumped up with an idea and after a while give up only because we don’t have anyone to clear out some small confusion.

So, I have been in both shoes where I felt an emptiness of not having a mentor as well as felt super grateful to have some mentors who have gotten me through my tough days.

In 2018, I along with my friend Labib Muhannad founded Connecteen, a platform to connect promising rural and urban teenagers for better collaboration. The core concept was to foster peer mentorship - students mentoring students, robotics fans collaborating with another fan, and same-minded people bouncing ideas together. That seemed so wholesome and visionary to lift a generation. But we could only manage to organize 17 events in two years. The idea was great, and the team was great, but we were missing a fundamental part of sustainability: monetization.

As I grew and gathered more experience under my belt, with the same vision of enabling people to get the right idea at the right time, I set out to build Mentme that aggregates all of my desire for giving everyone the point of leverage they deserve.

I often listen to podcasts where founders or successful people tell their stories about how they got there. It really inspires me and makes me appreciate the behind the scenes sweat and tears that go into anything that’s truly great.

I thought to myself how awesome it’d be if I could connect with those masterminds for a short chit-chat.

What would I ask them? What could they tell me?
Would they spot an obvious truth that’s hidden in plain sight from me? Damn.

The realization that I lack a professional community to bounce ideas off of became clear. Nobody to talk to about my ideas, my strategies, it’s just me. Boo hoo.

It was at this point that I realized that I was desperately craving professional validation, but I didn’t know where I could find it.

I can’t see any other option than working from home when I live in one of the most congested cities in the world. So my teams are remote and we live on Slack, Google Meet, Miro, Notion, Tandem, and Clickup.

Teams mostly consist of executives or interns who couldn’t offer the affirmation I often seek. Even though I had a decent sized professional network on LinkedIn, I felt guilty bothering them with questions and requests for feedback. But when I offered them money for their time, they’d get offended!

For me, an itch is an idea, problem challenge, etc. And this was an itch I intended to get rid of. The (healthy) need for validation. I believe that my craving for validation is rooted in decision fatigue.

Founders or any other aspiring individuals have to make a LOT of decisions. This can get exhausting, especially if you’ve got multiple good ideas on how to do something, but aren’t sure which to choose. It’s moments like these when we desperately crave some level of validation.

I found myself thinking: “If I am craving validation then does that mean that I don’t believe in myself? Am I not qualified to make these decisions?”

After some research, I got assured that self-doubt is not a symptom of incompetence. Actually, incompetent people are usually the surest of themselves.

It just means I may need someone else’s opinion, and smart people like it when their ideas are challenged.

I’ve been actively working in startups for nearly half a decade yet still feel like there’s a mountain that I do not know. I’m constantly learning, and will always probably feel like a complete noob.

But I’m 100% cool with that!

Wanting validation is normal, even for experts! Getting depressed because you’re not getting triple-digit likes on your latest selfie is definitely not healthy.

To be clear, we are talking about professional validation from people we know to be more experienced than us in our craft.

And I don’t mean validation from people like your parents, spouse, or friends who know nothing about your business or industry. No – their opinions are the ones you listen to in your personal life. When it comes to work – smile, nod, and keep doing what you do.

However, input and perspectives from similarly skilled and experienced professionals in your field are extremely valuable. When you’re a solo founder — those kinds of perspectives are in seriously short supply.

It seems that no matter how many epic “ultimate guide” blog posts I read or expensive online courses I complete, I’m still left feeling like there’s something missing…Corroborating with experts for validation.

Getting validation is subjective. What’s validation to me, might not be validation to you.

Once you add in the risk of confirmation bias (the tendency to believe what we want to believe by cherry-picking the evidence that suits our narrative) it’s pretty clear to see how elusive true validation can be.

This is why I like to seek advice from people that I know have no hesitation to challenge my beliefs and are not “afraid to hurt my feelings.”

How did I achieve this (partially)?

When I want to learn how to do something new I always prefer active learning instead of passive learning.

I spend no more than one-day consuming data (while taking notes). Then I dive right into it and learn by doing. Avoid the comfort zone at all costs. For example, in the case of a new PPC channel, I’ll create campaigns, adsets, ads, and the whole nine yards, but just not set them live yet. After I’ve given it my best shot, I’ll talk to an expert to answer any final questions and audit my work. Sometimes I reach out to someone I know personally or I use LinkedIn to schedule meetings with people from my industry.

Those meetings increase my confidence to forge forwards and execute. It feels really great to hear from an expert with more experience than you that “you’ve set it up great! good job!”

Additionally, I learn tips and tricks relevant to my specific workflows and toolkit. We never know what gold nugget of inside information we’ll glean from a 30-minute call. I get to rubber duck myself (rubber ducking is basically all about talking through a problem out loud, which activates a part of our brain that helps with problem-solving).

I love connecting with like-minded people and learning from their journeys, but I also like being fair. Successful and smart people are usually always busy, and I feel like a jack-ass emailing them asking for their time without compensation.

That sparked my idea of creating an easier and more pleasant way to connect. Building a platform to cure the itch, not just scratch it.